How can you motivate yourself to take actions towards a more happy life?

SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY—A THEORY OF MOTIVATION

What is happiness? Is it something with a clear, defined answer?

The truth about happiness is that it looks different for each individual. This is because the idea or notion of happiness is based on a subjective idea of wellbeing.

What wellbeing and happiness look like for one person is going to differ for another simply because each individual goes through life via a series of unique and different experiences that help shape who they are and what brings them joy. Some of us attach the idea of happiness with the ability to have specific experiences as well. We even attach emotions to the idea of happiness, as well as things that impact our emotions in a positive or negative way.

If we are to examine the concept of happiness and what psychologists and researchers say it takes to achieve an optimal mental state in order to feel fulfilled (or happy) in life, we see that the basic components generally needed to achieve such a state for everyone across the board include having their basic needs met, a sense of safety and security, social connections and support, meaningful relationships, a sense of purpose, values, good genes, health and self-esteem, and ultimately a state of self-actualization in which a person strives to become the most they can be.

Even though we as humans have a formula that tells us how to achieve this elusive idea of happiness we all seek, why does it somehow seem as though so many of us are still feeling unsatisfied in life and just can’t seem to get it right?

Many of us simply don’t know where to begin, what to do, or how to make ourselves happy. And more often than not, the issue is really with a lack of motivation.

So, what motivates us anyway?

The self-determination theory (SDT) takes a look at the psychological processes that promote optimal functioning and health and contribute to our motivation. According to this theory, the reason for initiating and persisting in certain behaviours comes from intrinsic sources of motivation, such as the pursuit of knowledge and independence, or the desire to grow and learn and expand our skill sets. This behavior is motivated by the idea that it will lead to one’s desired outcome. An example would be studying economics in order to gain more knowledge, and this is fueled or intrinsically motivated by a desire to learn more about trading securities.

How effective you’ll be at pursuing your goals and desires also depends on how well your psychological needs are being met. According to SDT, your need equals the content of motivation. Essentially, needs drive actions and influence our behavior. This is necessary for our growth, integrity, and wellbeing. Within the framework of SDT, three types of needs have been identified. These are:

• Competence

• Relatedness

• Autonomy

Competence relates to our own personal levels of confidence within ourselves to achieve what we desire and show that we are capable beings.

Relatedness is essentially our need to have meaningful connections with others. We do not want to feel like we are on an island isolated from everyone and alone on a planet with over 7 billion people on it.

Autonomy refers to our state of freedom from external controls and ability to survive in the world on our own as independent adults. Upon satisfying these three basic needs, we should realise an increase in our personal sense of wellbeing, growth, and performance.

Intrinsically motivated activities are at the core of SDT. These are activities that you find interesting and would do in the absence of external pressures. These activities provide novelty, have an optimal level of challenge or flow, are based on your need to feel confident and self-determined, and require an active engagement, involvement, or commitment. Intrinsic motivation is facilitated by external conditions that help with need satisfaction. Without a need, there is no motivation to meet it. These intrinsic needs are enhanced by rewards such as positive feedback, which satisfies the need of being competent. Another enhancer is a sense of security in relationships—fulfilling the relatedness need.

IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION?

When it comes to extrinsic motivation, being motivated by external influences or forces, we either have a tendency to totally leave it (amotivation) or internalise various degrees of external reasoning. When it comes to internalisation, there are 4 stages. These include:

• External regulation

• Introjection regulation

• Identification regulation

• Integration regulation

With external regulation, behavior is motivated by a reward, recognition, or the avoidance of punishment. These are external incentives.

Introjection regulation happens when external circumstances or events have been internalised and our behavior is motivated by promoting self-esteem, avoiding failure, lessening guilt, etc.

Identification regulation occurs when we clearly recognise and value our behaviours.

Integration regulation takes us from controlled to autonomous motivation, as it’s the most autonomous type of extrinsic motivation and occurs when our behaviours are fully integrated with our values and belief systems.

As you can see, external motivation is not bad or worse than internal motivation. Everyone needs an extra push at times, but it gets easier and more pleasant the more you come along from a controlled motivation to a more autonomous motivation.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

When it comes to happiness, it’s been shown to help us better cooperate with one another. This is both in our professional and personal lives. Cooperation is essential for our survival on this planet. However, happiness isn’t something that you can catch like a firefly and keep in a jar on your shelf. Happiness is a state of being that requires a continuous effort and process in order to achieve and maintain, much like a relationship. It’s completely normal to not feel happy or like our best selves at times. We are, after all, human and we are experiencing all that this human life has to offer us, which isn’t always pleasant. However, the more we keep working toward achieving our goals and motivating ourselves, the easier it will be to reach a state of contentment and bliss.

WORK WITH ME

Do you feel like you could use a bit of external motivation to help get you started down your own personal path to happiness? I’d love to assist. Contact me to set up our first initial call and see if we’d be a good fit for co-creating your professional advancement and reaching your personal goals.