Is there a downside to pursuing happiness?
It seems like happiness is at the forefront of everyone’s minds these days and the pursuit of happiness has leaked into our social trends and behaviours. From gratitude journals and nature walks to vision boards and setting daily intentions, it seems like everyone is on a daily pursuit of this elusive idea—of reaching a situation in life during which they experience pure contentment and bliss on a consistent basis. Despite this seemingly constant pursuit, it seems like few of us truly take the time to think about whether or not the pursuit of happiness might have negative consequences, or at least downsides to consider.
And no, I am not telling you to not go out there and live a happy and content life or enhance your well-being. I merely want to lend a different perspective and take some time to think critically about the “wonder” of happiness.
Two downsides to the pursuit of happiness
There are two negative aspects that have been well researched that conclude that the pursuit of happiness can lead to:
Pursuing more wealth distracts from an actual increase in well-being.
Experiencing loneliness
Pursuing more wealth distracts from an actual increase in well-being
This first downside to the pursuit of happiness is the most widely known. Up until a certain monetary point, a Princeton study shows us that an increase in income can result in greater happiness, but this is a rather modest number (approx. 75K per year USD, depending on one’s location) that merely ensures our basic needs are comfortably met. In our global society, it seems as though focusing on increasing our income is something most governments aim for. Furthermore, what we are brought up to believe as being a vital part of being an adult surrounds the pursuit of a higher income, as that translates as more successful or well off, or having a greater sense of well-being. In fact, material prosperity is something that appears to be valued across all nations on earth.
And yes, so long as an increase in income supports the basic needs of housing, food, and security, all things that promote well-being, happiness, and security, this increase in income will surely lead to a higher level of happiness. However, it is important to note that the higher the income the lesser the increase of happiness up until the aforementioned point at which the increase in income no longer results in an increased level of happiness. The crux of the matter here is that while most people know this, many still do not act upon it.
So, why doesn’t anyone end their endless pursuit for a higher income in an effort to make themselves happy when they know that it doesn’t matter after a certain point? Because society tells us that this is the right thing to do—the thing that we should all be doing. The result of this is disappointment, disillusionment, and frustration. Pursuing more wealth only distracts us from the actual elements that help increase our well-being.
The issue at hand is thus based on having inadequate means to happiness. We think we know what will make us happy, but we truly do not. What society tells us might not actually be something that increases well-being, but still, we are blindly chasing after wealth—assuming that it will make us happy or solve all of our problems.
So, what can we do about this dilemma?
The answer to solving this dilemma isn’t a clear straightforward answer that can apply to everyone. It truly depends on your current level of income. If you have a lower income, the pursuit of more wealth may indeed bring more happiness. However, if you are already above a certain level of income, increasing your wealth is not going to result in happiness. Rather, focusing on things that bring you joy and happiness each day will give you the greatest outcomes. This is not to say that you should neglect any focus on your financial stability, merely that shifting your focus from using money to make you happy to do activities that bring you pure joy may be the best way to increase how happy you are in life.
Experiencing loneliness
This second downside to pursuing happiness is a bit less known than the first. The reason that pursuing happiness can result in experiencing loneliness is because the pursuit of happiness can cause a person to lose focus on other things in their life that matter to them such as personal relationships. If someone lets their connections fade because they are so focused on increasing their wealth or seeking happiness, their overall sense of well-being can also become damaged without a social support system—resulting in loneliness.
Now, just because someone decides that they want to pursue happiness, it doesn’t automatically mean that they are destined to become lonely. This is something that can happen if a person’s focus is so high on personal gain that they do not pay enough attention to the needs of others—especially those who are closest to them. Because wanting to be happy and actually being happy are two different things, a person who desperately wants to be happy may place this idea on a pedestal and set the goal so high that it literally becomes impossible to achieve. This in turn leads to discontentment and frustration in the end when the unachievable goal of what someone believes happiness to be is not met.
The negative consequence of pursuing happiness, in this case, would have to do with the issue of setting too high of standards.
“A great obstacle to happiness is to anticipate too great a happiness.”
-Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle
So, what can we do about this dilemma?
When faced with a high goal of achieving happiness that may seem too perfect or elevated to achieve, it’s important to refocus and reevaluate your goals. Goals are designed to be met and should be attainable and realistic unless you enjoy setting yourself up for failure. It’s also important to accept your emotions surrounding this pursuit and to refrain from avoiding them. Feelings can be uncomfortable at times, but it’s important for us to observe and work through them. Being selfless and prosocial is another way to help combat this downside to pursuing a happy life. It also helps to refrain from pursuing happiness directly and to focus on pursuing something you can reach that you know brings you joy. Happiness will result as a byproduct.
Do you ever find yourself struggling to find happiness in life? I’d love to help guide you toward your own personal joy and bliss. Feel free to schedule a consultation with me to see if we’d be a good fit. I look forward to speaking with you.
