Why Humility Can Be Good For You
Alexander Pope already said
"To err is human…"
but we live in a time where people of authority need to know it all…
Parents are expected to know what's best for their children and even if they do have it at the wrong end, they will definitely not admit it to their offspring. They are the parents after all.
Teachers in schools are likewise seen as the ultimate source of knowledge. When interacting with their students, they are expected to choose the right mode of communication, information transfer and mediation.
And of course leaders are often the people we look at when it comes to guidance, direction and proficiency. They are the ones that are expected to guide their teams towards the desired goal and outcome, and they are the ones that are expected to have answers ready.
But are they? Or do all of them actually expect that from themselves?
Don't we all sometimes have moments where we reflect on the decisions to be made and our own opinions and convictions on that matter, wondering whether we are actually right? Or moments where we listen to someone else's story or statement, having an aha-moment and learning something new?
And if we do have those moments of enlightenment, how can we expect to 'know it all'?
Today's competitive society very often penalises mistakes and ignorance, starting with our educational system - from primary school to university - which encourages having it right more implicitly than learning and progress. Many careers are built on high self-esteem and confidence, neglecting the notions of having limits and showing 'weaknesses'. Leadership styles are still often experienced to be strong and decisive. Mistakes are just 'not done'.
Luckily, more recent developments and scientific research go back to the notions of Socrates who already defined humility as a core value. He freely promoted his lack of knowledge and blind spots in his thinking. Somewhere along the way however, humility wrongly got a bad rap for counteracting other important ideas of self-worth and self-realisation. Scientists now rectify that idea and find more and more evidence for how humility actually can be good for us.
So what is humility? It has nothing to do with a low self-esteem or unassertiveness. Neither with meekness, weakness or 'being nice'. Being humble does not mean lessening your self-worth but depicting it accurately. It simply means not putting oneself above or below others.
It is a character trait that shows how much we value our opinions and ideas compared to others. That means that you can score high on the continuum of humility and see yourself for who you are and portray yourself as such. Or you can score lower on the humility scale, thinking of yourself better or worse than actually appropriate. Humility can be clustered with other virtues like altruism, compassion, empathy, forgiveness and gratitude - all promoting prosocial behavior.
Humility is very often linked to having a growth mindset, especially when your readiness to see and acknowledge mistakes or ignorance is combined with the drive to overcome them - looking for help, experimenting and finding creative solutions.
Humility in itself can be divided into different categories:
Intellectual humility
Cultural humility
Political humility
Spiritual humility
And especially the first category of intellectual humility has been proven to have many advantages. Research shows that humility
is linked to better academic and job performance, as well as excellence in leadership;
improves social relationships; and
Generally improves well-being.
How, you wonder?
Well where to start…
First of all, humility supports you in being (self-)forgiving, grateful and generous, and it generally boosts positive emotions. Needless to say, it reduces stress.
Being humble is linked to having a higher tolerance for others, politically, religiously or otherwise. Your perceptions of and emotions toward opponents improves as well as your willingness to sympathise.
Humility is linked to your readiness to learn through having greater curiosity, being more open to feedback and reflection, and a generally heightened willingness to improve and evolve. Humility seems to actually matter more when it comes to performance than IQ.
Humble people are better at solving problems and making decisions as many measures of successful thinking like creative, critical and strategic thinking are broadened.
In leadership especially, humility is found to improve levels of trust, honesty and engagement as well as job satisfaction. Being humble as a leader prompts better communication in your teams through boosting their confidence to disagree. Constructive collaboration, information sharing and cooperation are positively influenced as well.
But then, is it wrong to be competitive, to strive for being better and improve ourselves?
Of course not. The question is whether you let your actions speak for themselves or whether you feel the need to actively boost them just to feel good? Whether you can do all of that out of a place of self-worth, acknowledging and celebrating the self-worth of others, or whether you create a 'me-against-the-world' situation.
When you realise that you are not less just because you don't know it all and can do it all, but when you celebrate a learning opportunity and your developmental progress, then your social intelligence will shift and you will invite others toward instead of against you. Don't forget that
"We matter more to others by mattering less to ourselves." - by Christopher Peterson Ph.D.
